whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
