Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
