1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
