he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
