Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize