but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
