I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
