Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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