I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
