This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
