I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
