everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
