I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
