You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
