I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
