You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
