You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize