apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
