she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
