I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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