just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
