Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Are these your boobs on my camera?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
