Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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