Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
