I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
