we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
