kristin has been a bad kristin
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this will be a night to untag.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
