He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Are my feet made of real feet?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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