Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize