Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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