Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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