Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
