Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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