I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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