remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
