Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
