fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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