Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you inspire me to be a worse person
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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