she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
