I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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