Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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