My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
