He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
