Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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