I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize