is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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