I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
