He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize