...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize