ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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