bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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