I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
