he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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