i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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