I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
