ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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