it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
