Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
