I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
