She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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