I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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