Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
