I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
