My sheets look like a crime scene.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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